Entering into parenthood is joyous – and filled with surprises. We look at someone else’s baby and think, ‘Aw, how cute!’ Once we begin having our own children, ‘Aw, how cute!’ remains true. But living with them 24/7 also brings the reality that raising children is demanding. Difficult. Even daunting at times.
The hard work doesn’t stop after the potty training, helping to walk, and teaching them how to feed and dress themselves. Every stage of raising children – toddlers, adolescents, teenagers, and even well into adulthood – comes with its own set of challenges. Over time we realize that children, no matter how old, remain our children. And we remain their parents, long after they’ve left home.
In a similar sense, this is true for those taking part in Jesus’ instructions to His followers to “make disciples of all nations…teaching them to observe everything I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:19-20). What this doesn’t say explicitly is that making disciples basically amounts to spiritual parenting.
The apostle Paul addressed this clearly in writing to believers in the early Church. He explained, “...we could have been a burden to you, but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us…. For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into His kingdom and glory” (1 Thessalonians 2:7-8,11-12).
Paul was recalling that in spending time with them, he was “like a mother caring for her little children….” As well as was responding to them “as a father deals with his own children.”
If this parenting analogy for disciplemaking comes as a surprise, it might be that we misunderstand the term “disciples.” In Greek the words for disciple and convert are very different. The word for ‘disciple’ in Greek is mathētēs, while the work for ‘convert’ is epistrephō. They’re distinct, not even derived from the same root.
A convert has turned and faces another direction, perhaps reflecting a change of heart. A disciple, however, has not only turned but is also moving forward. Webster’s definition for “disciple” is “a pupil or follower of a teacher or school. A true disciple is not just a student or a learner, but a follower: one who applies what he has learned.”
I’d take it a step further in terms of being a disciple of Jesus Christ. He or she also is one able to reproduce spiritually. That’s why Jesus didn’t just command us to make converts – because converts are merely spiritual babes, unable to do much for themselves. He wanted spiritual reproducers.
How does one change from being a convert to a genuine disciple? This is where the idea of spiritual parenting comes in. Jesus implied this as He concluded His Great Commission when he declared, “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” He was promising to remain spiritually present with these disciples, in whom He’d invested countless hours instructing, admonishing, encouraging, correcting, and providing an example.
The Lord wasn’t about to leave them to their own devices. He’d entrusted them with a crucial assignment with eternal consequences. Mark 16:15 records His command as “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.” Jesus’ zealous but rag-tag collection of disciples would need much more than good intentions to accomplish this ambitious responsibility.
Paul fully understood this. A number of times he referred to men in whom he had invested much time and energy as his “son.” In a letter to followers of Christ in Philippi, he wrote, “I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon…Timothy has proved himself because as a son with his father he has served with me in the work of the gospel” (Philippians 2:19,22). Elsewhere Paul cited Timothy as “my true child in the faith” (1 Timothy 1:2), and “my beloved and faithful child in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 4:7).
Lest we incorrectly conclude that Timothy was Paul’s biological child, Acts 16:1 describes Timothy ”whose mother was a Jewess and a believer, but whose father was a Greek” (a non-believer). The apostle also said he was “our brother and God’s fellow worker in spreading the gospel of Christ…” (1 Thessalonians 3:2). Similarly, Paul addresses a man named Titus as “my true son in our common faith” (Titus 1:4).
Over the years I’ve had the privilege of meeting with a number of men in discipling relationships – some only a matter of months, but others that spanned years, even decades. I and one good friend whom I regard, to borrow Paul’s words, as a “son in the faith,” remain in regular contact more than 40 years after our first meeting. He now lives in another city, so we often chat via FaceTime, sharing with each other about our everyday lives and our walk with Christ.
Another man I met more than 20 years ago at a Christian conference. Much has changed in our lives since then – we’ve had great conversations about many challenges encountered along the way – and we continue to check in periodically to talk about what God’s doing in our lives. Both have had a significant impact for the Lord in their homes, where they work, and in their communities.
What a joy it is to enlist in Christ’s Great Commission to become spiritual dads and moms. In so doing, one day we’ll be able to declare, as did the apostle John, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth” (3 John 4).
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