Taking Time to Consider What Love’s Really All About

Every holiday has its characters. Christmas has Santa Claus, Easter has the Easter bunny, Thanksgiving has the turkey, and with Valentine’s Day upon us, we might be struck by one of Cupid’s amorous arrows. It’s the day, we’re told, that’s all about love.

Love, it seems, is music to our ears. “Love Is a Many Splendored Thing” the classic ballad told us. “All You Need Is Love,” the Beatles assured us. Songstress Whitney Houston declared, “I Will Always Love You.” The Righteous Brothers sang about love’s downside in “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin’.” And Elvis Presley admitted he, “Can’t Help Falling in Love.”

But when we cut past the fluff and the mush, what is love really all about?

 

I hate to harp on the Hallmark movie romances, but I’ve seen my share of them (probably more than my share, as a loving husband) and feel like a bit of an expert. Their prevailing message is that love is cultivated in an instant, endures a brief flirtation, survives momentary conflict, and then blossoms into mature, eternal devotion. All within the span of a single week, maybe just a few days. (Actually, less than two hours.)

 

But my experience over decades of marriage has taught me that’s not what true love is about. And it’s certainly not what the Bible says love is about. 

 

Love is hard work, compromise, putting the interests of the other person first when necessary, accepting one another flaws, warts and all. Yes, there are the soaring emotional times, but there are also times of wrestling over bills, cleaning the house, trying to fix stuff that’s broken, and realizing what “in sickness and in health” really means. All in the name of love.

 

The tear-jerker film of the late 1960s, “Love Story,” informed us that “love means never having to say you’re sorry.” However, I’ve learned that the words “I’m sorry” can go a long way in strengthening or repairing marriage relationships.

 

What the Scriptures say about love bears little resemblance to the butterflies-in-the-tummy image we receive from Hollywood. Here’s a sampling:

 

Love comes from God. “We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who remains in love remains in God, and God remains in him. By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment…. There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because He first loved us” (1 John 4:16-19).

 

Love is gracious and understanding. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5). These words should undergird a marriage, not just serve as a nice-sounding portion of the wedding script.

 

Love is obedient. Explaining what it means to truly love God, Jesus said, “Whoever has My commands and keeps them is the one who loves Me. The one who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I too will love them and show Myself to them” (John 14:21). How can we love God and refuse to do as He asks?

 

Love doesn’t demand something in return. “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them…. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back…. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful” (Luke 6:32-36).

 

Love is a commandment. Jesus said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34-35).

 

Love is eternal. Through the prophet Jeremiah, God spoke a truth that applies not only to His chosen people, the families of Israel, but also to everyone who is part of His kingdom: “The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness'” (Jeremiah 31:3).

 

Love can mean dying to self. Jesus told His disciples, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:12-13). Not long after, Jesus did exactly that – laying down His life, dying on the cross as the once and for all atoning sacrifice for all who would receive Him as Savior and Lord.

 

Love means making a choice. Jesus taught that genuine godly love leaves no room for mixed allegiances. “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money” (Matthew 6:24).

 

Love uses Jesus as the ultimate example. When a husband wonders, ‘How should I love my wife?’ he can find no better teacher than Jesus Christ. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her…” (Ephesians 5:25). Reading the gospel accounts of Jesus, we find Him continually giving of Himself, not exhibiting a sentimental form of love but one of sacrifice and service.

 

You can find much more about love in the Bible. These only scratch the surface. But grasping and applying these truths alone could revolutionize Valentine’s Day. And “What the World Needs Now Is Love, Sweet Love” would never sound the same.