Spending Time with My Father – and My Father

My father died while I was still a young man. Over the years since, I’ve often wished I could have had more time with him. Because of his own background my dad wasn’t the most engaging, nurturing guy, but I never doubted his affection for me. Unfortunately, as a self-conscious, self-absorbed teenager, my focus was primarily on myself. I never thought much about getting to know and understand my father in a deeper way. 

Then college and career took me hundreds of miles away from home. There were no cellphones back then (can you imagine?), so I couldn’t just pick up the phone to talk with Dad. Long-distance calls cost money, and my job as the editor of community newspapers didn’t provide me with much of that. So, our communications were limited. 

Of course, in those “olden days” there was no texting, and no one had heard of email either, so we couldn’t exchange notes that way, even though Dad was an excellent writer. (I suppose I got my interest in writing from him.)

 

As a result, I missed out on learning important things about my father I would greatly value now. For instance, what his childhood was like, and what were his most memorable experiences growing up, including the Great Depression. He was a decorated soldier during World War II, receiving two Purple Hearts and a Bronze Star among other honors, but he never talked about what combat was like. I wish I could have talked with him about these things. 

 

The best thing about my relationship with my dad was the example he set by how he lived. He was a very hard worker, devoted to providing for his family, a man of faith, and always a person of high integrity. He taught me by action rather than words. Even in his quiet way, he fulfilled the words of Proverbs 4:1-6:

“Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching…. Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them. Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you.”

 

Yes, the days of being able to talk with and learn from my earthly father passed much too soon for me. However, I am more than blessed to be able to spend as much time as I desire each day with my other Father – my Heavenly Father – as I read and study His Word. From that perspective, Proverbs 4 and many other passages from the Scriptures have even more significance. They teach me about God’s heart, His character, His perfect values, His love for me, and so much more.

 

Repeatedly in Proverbs we read phrases like, ”Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction…” (Proverbs 1:8), “My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you…” (Proverbs 2:1), “My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity” (Proverbs 3:1-2). Although they are written as advice from an earthly father to his offspring, being part of the Bible we also know they flow from the heart of God.

 

What a comfort and source of assurance it is to realize that while my earthly father would discipline me when he thought necessary to correct or redirect my behavior, my Heavenly Father does so in even more profound and understanding ways. 

 

As Hebrews 12:9-10 states, “we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best, but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness.”

 

Speaking to some of His followers, Jesus observed, “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead? Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him?” (Luke 11:11-12).

While my opportunities to get to know my earthly father were cut short many years ago, I’m so thankful that as long as I have breath I can continue to learn more about and grow closer to my Heavenly Father – and that learning process will continue for all eternity.