Sometimes 'PTSD' Can Be Turned into 'PTG'

Stand-up comedian George Carlin died in 2008, but some of his monologues have amazing staying power. His frequent use of profanity in his commentaries turned off some of his listeners, but he had a way of looking at the ordinary and providing extraordinary insights through humor. 

One routine I recall was about the psychological and emotional damage many soldiers have endured due to wartime experiences. Carlin observed that curiously over the years discussing the malady has become more complex, both its diagnosis and the terminology used to describe it.

 

During World War I, soldiers returning from battle often suffered from “Shell Shock” – a condition summed up in two words of one syllable each. Then came World War II, with combatants dealing with similar issues, except it was then termed “Battle Fatigue.” Still two words, but both containing two syllables. 

 

Since the Vietnam War, however, the situation has risen to new levels of sophistication, as its new name would suggest: “Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder” (PTSD). As Carlin noted, it now consists of four words and eight syllables. It’s also being used to define other forms of trauma – such as car accidents, acts of terrorism, witnessing acts of violence, first-responders dealing with the aftermath of horrific emergencies, and natural disasters.

 

It wasn’t Carlin’s intent, nor is it mine, to minimize the dreadful impact of PTSD. My father served in World War II, was wounded twice, and I suspect he suffered from PTSD, judging from the nights he would cry out in his sleep because of nightmares. And I have a good friend who has founded an amazing ministry devoted to serving veterans dealing with the effects of PTSD, having experienced it firsthand himself.

 

But recently I heard someone speak of a different possible outcome for those experiencing trauma and severe trials of one kind or another. It’s called PTG – Post-Traumatic Growth.

 

Have you ever gone through an extremely difficult time – overwhelming challenges at work; dire financial problems; a frightening health diagnosis, or family crisis – that seemed more than you could bear? At the time those circumstances might have seemed hopeless, but weeks or months, maybe years later, they proved to be significant for your personal growth? 

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn was a Nobel Prize-winning Russian writer and dissident who endured the horrors of the Soviet prison system. In his book, The Gulag Archipelago, he wrote, “Bless you prison, bless you for being in my life. For there, lying upon the rotting prison straw, I came to realize that the object of life is not prosperity as we are made to believe, but the maturity of the human soul.” 

Along with being able to raise global awareness of the great political repression in the then-Soviet Union, Solzhenitsyn also came to faith in Jesus Christ. We could say his years of personal trauma were turned into post-traumatic growth.

 

We can find no better example of this than the apostle Paul. In a letter to followers of Jesus in ancient Corinth, Paul wrote about the many hardships he suffered in seeking to advance the Gospel, including imprisonments and floggings:

“…Five times I received from the Jews the forty lashes minus one. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a night and a day in the open sea…. I have been in danger from rivers…bandits…my own countrymen …. I have labored and toiled and have often gone without sleep; I have known hunger and thirst and have often gone without food; I have been cold and naked” (2 Corinthians 11:23-27).

 

And we think we’ve had it rough! But this same person who knew adversity in so many shapes and forms could also write, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).

 

Many of us have heard this verse. Maybe so often that it rolls right off our tongues. But do we really believe it? “All things”? “For good”? Well, that’s what it says – what God says.

 

Our pastor recently observed that some people willingly – and intentionally – invite pain in the anticipation of good outcomes, perhaps their own version of post-traumatic growth. Who are these crazy folks? Marathon runners. Or if you prefer, triathletes. Not only do they go through many months of grueling training and preparation, but also the competitive events themselves, whether it’s enduring mile after mile of a 26-mile marathon or the combined swimming, biking and running phases of the triathlon.

 

Applying this to spiritual growth, we’d be wise to heed Solzhenitsyn’s words, “the object of life is not prosperity as we are made to believe, but the maturity of the human soul.” 

 

This life, in terms of eternity, passes like the blink of an eye. For that reason, it’s important to maintain our focus on what lies ahead. As Paul wrote, “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).

 

Trusting that God truly has a purpose behind our trials, tribulations and traumas, we can use them to turn PTSD into PTG.

What Happens When You Reach the Boiling Point?

Have you ever noticed how people can respond very differently to adversity – how difficult circumstances can result in one person becoming better, while for another, hardships only leave them bitter? Better vs. bitter – what a stark contrast.

 

Recently I heard a speaker make an observation from nature that I was aware of but had never given much consideration. He said, “It’s the same boiling water that softens potatoes that hardens eggs.” 

For those of us who are fans of mashed potatoes and hard-boiled eggs, we thankful for this fact. Perhaps we could expand on this, noting that while boiling water can cause a severe burn, it also can be used sanitize and kills germs. Interesting, isn’t it?

 

Science tells us the specific boiling point for water is 212 degrees Fahrenheit. That’s hot. But I wonder about people – individuals seem to have different boiling points. Some take a long time, slowly simmering, while others hit a boiling flash point very quickly. It’s important to know not only what our boiling point is, but also, what do we do when we reach it?

 

We can look at this from at least a couple of different angles. For instance, what triggers a person to reach a boiling point? This also varies from person to person. One seems to carry a perpetual chip on his or her shoulder, almost daring people to knock it off, while another maintains a fairly even keel, not inclined at all to display anger.

 

The Bible offers a number of contrasting observations about both kinds of folks. Proverbs 12:16, for example, states, “A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.” Then we read, “A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly” (Proverbs 14:29). Yet another proverb observes, “A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel” (Proverbs 15:18).

 

One verse even advises that we avoid people who have a habit of reaching their boiling points in a hurry: “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared” (Proverbs 22:24-25). Losing one’s temper quickly is not a character trait to be admired, nor to be emulated.

 

But getting back to the potato that softens in boiling water, while the egg hardens, our response to adverse circumstances and hardships can determine whether they make us harder or softer. This may be one reason we’re advised in Romans 5:3-5 to “glory in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.”

 

When we read this, many of us are probably tempted to say, “glory [exult] in my tribulations [sufferings]? Are you kidding me? You have no idea what I’ve been going through!” No, we don’t. But these aren’t simplistic platitudes we’re offering. It’s the counsel and wisdom we find in the Word of God. 

 

Because as we follow the progression, we find that if we hang in there, tribulations can produce in us perseverance, a determination to come out on the other side as a better person. Which leads to strong, resilient character, and finally, an unwavering hope and confident assurance that if the Lord has allowed difficult circumstances in our lives, He’s intending to use them for our good.

 

The apostle James opened his New Testament letter with a similar sentiment, stating, “My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing” (James 1:2-4). 

 

Have you ever wished you could be more patient? Here’s a hint: Don’t pray for patience, because God may answer that prayer by sending situations in your life that will require you to be patient, whether you like it or not. But think about it. Trials that test our faith can give us more patience, often because we have no recourse but to endure them patiently. And who wouldn’t want to be described as “perfect and complete, lacking nothing”?

 

Too often, unfortunately, people don’t regard their trials and tribulations with this perspective. Instead, they respond with anger, or in despair, wanting to lash out at God – and others – with the complaint, “Why me?!” Instead of seeing hardships as divinely fashioned opportunities to become better people, they instead become embittered, refusing to advance in perseverance and build character, or to grow in the quality we call patience.

In a spiritual sense, unlike in nature where water has a fixed boiling point of 212 degrees, we can allow the Lord to boost our inner boiling points to such levels that people around us will rarely, if ever, witness us blowing off steam uncontrollably or bubbling over in fits of anger. But it requires faith and a steadfast conviction that as Romans 8:28 promises, He is causing “all things to work together for good to those who are called according to His purpose.” 

No Manure – No Mess – No Milk

It’s seems we’re increasingly living in society where people want everything pain-free, strain-free, maybe even brain-free. They want rewards without commensurate effort, results without having to experience any difficulties. If we were dairy farmers, our motto might be, “We want the milk without the manure.”

Alas, that’s not how life works. We don’t become physically fit by sitting in a recliner watching exercise videos. We don’t excel in school and get smarter without the hard work of reading, studying – and thinking. We can’t experience the joys of parenthood without putting up with dirty diapers, messy rooms, unanticipated expenses, and the variety of maladies kids acquire. And we can’t succeed in our careers without experiencing setbacks, disappointments, and if necessary, investing longer hours on the job than we’d like.

My friend, Mike Landry, recently published a book, Advancing Through Adversity: Turning the Worst of Times into the Best of Times, in which he details the struggles he and his family endured over an 18-month period after he was wrongfully sued by a company he had started. Even though he didn’t want this adversity, Mike discovered it would become an excellent teacher, providing important, life-changing lessons he couldn’t have learned in any other way.

He writes, “During tough times, most of us pray for a way out, or plead for our troubles to end. We want answers, resolution, or healing…. If all we do is focus on the given situation or the other people who are involved, concentrating on fixing it or getting through it, we could miss how God wants us to use the circumstances to teach and change us.”

Mike’s right. So often when confronted with difficult problems, all we want is to “fix it” or to “get through it.” But as I’ve found repeatedly throughout my life and career, we gain the most while in the midst of confounding challenges. Adversity can teach much about patience, perseverance, humility, coping with disappointment, compassion, and, perhaps most important, it serves as a wonderful resource for testing and strengthening our faith.

This truth is revisited frequently in the Scriptures, including Proverbs 14:4 which points out, “Where no oxen are, the trough is clean; but much increase comes from the strength of an ox.” Stating it in other terms, without the manure – putting up with the mess – we can’t have any milk.

Another friend, Ted Sprague, casually cited this verse years ago in Atlanta, Ga. during a crucial civic planning meeting that had taken a decidedly negative turn. After he quoted a paraphrase of the passage, “Where no oxen are the stables are clean,” the room fell silent for a few minutes. Then someone responded, “You know, Ted’s right!” The tone of the meeting instantly shifted, taking on a much more positive focus, and important decisions made then influenced the course of the city for many years afterward.

There were problems to be faced, but the benefits from being willing to confront those difficulties far outweighed the drawbacks. That’s why today a plaque behind Ted’s desk quotes the verse along with a concluding statement, “There’s a price to accomplishment.”

The apostle Paul, who knew adversity as an almost constant companion, wrote, “we also glory in tribulation, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope” (Romans 5:3-4). Not to be outdone, another apostle, James, urged his fellow believers to “count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing” (James 1:2-4).

If we never had to wait expectantly for something, we’d have no need to be patient. If we didn’t have to deal with struggles, we’d have no need for perseverance. But when we face hardships through the eyes of trusting faith, confident God is with us and using them to mold us into the people He wants us to be, we can indeed “glory in tribulation.” We can “count it all joy,” even when we never would have asked for the circumstances that beset us.

Yet another friend from years ago, Dr. Gerald Durley, encountered racism as a young African-American coming to the South for the first time. The mistreatment he experienced was undeniable and unforgettable. Nevertheless, years later he could look back upon the pain of prejudice and rejection, recognizing how God had used it to shape his character and equip him for a fruitful career later in life. And he could say, with all sincerity, “Thank you for adversity.”

The moral we can take from this is simple: If we keep foremost in our minds that without the manure we’ll never be able to enjoy the milk, we can join Mike and Ted and Jerry in the paradox of gratitude, declaring, “Thank you, God, for adversity!” 

Thankful for the Good...and the Not-So-Good?

This Thanksgiving Day, what will you be thankful for?

I’d like to revisit something I’ve written about before. Growing up, Thanksgiving included imagery of Pilgrims and Indians joining for a common meal; the smell of turkey roasting in the kitchen; the sound of holiday parades and football games on TV. When dinner time arrived, we bowed our heads and said a prayer of thanks. The thank-you list usually included family, a warm house, health and, of course, the food.

One thing I can’t remember our ever expressing thanks for, though: Hardships we might have been facing at the time. Yet, in the Bible we are instructed, “In everything give thanks…” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

When we hear “blessings,” we think of the “good stuff” – things we like and that make us happy. If our bank accounts have a surplus, we can pay our bills, are free of disease, and have our share of material possessions, we consider ourselves blessed. So we “praise God from whom all blessings flow,” as the old hymn tells us.

How do you give thanks
when you're not feeling festive?

But the admonition above is correct (in another translation, it reads, “give thanks in all circumstances”), does that mean we’re also supposed to be thankful for the not-so-good stuff – financial struggles, unemployment, disease, the loss of loved ones, even family strife?

Years ago, describing his spiritual journey, an African-American friend talked about poverty and racial discrimination he endured. But with a smile he would say, “Thank you, for adversity!” Another friend who endured the horrors of World War II, numerous physical ailments and business challenges, wrote a booklet called, “Saying ‘Thank You’ Even When You Don’t Feel Thankful.”

I think there’s validity to both responses. In my experience, when things go well, I’m tempted to pat myself on the back and take the credit. But when hardships occur, difficulties suddenly spinning out of control, that’s when I’m reminded of how desperately I need to rely on God. I believe the Scripture passage that says, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13), but lest I forget, life’s tough times reaffirm what Jesus said in John 15:5: “…apart from Me you can do nothing.”

Like a tree that grows especially strong and hardy because of adverse weather and environmental conditions, God often uses adversity to mold and refine us into the men and women He desires for us to become.

So this Thursday, as you gather with family and other loved ones, I hope things are going well and you have much for which to be thankful. But if you face nagging challenges that defy immediate resolution – perhaps even seem hopeless – I’d encourage you to give thanks for those as well. God promises to walk with us through our trials. “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).

As the refrain from the wonderful praise song states, “When you don’t see His plan, when you can’t trace His hand, trust His heart.” For that we can be thankful.

‘Dancing’ Despite the Storms

Recently we decided to spruce up our master bathroom, removing old wallpaper, replaced by a fresh coat of paint. Among the new accessories is a picture bearing the motto, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

I can’t think of a better sentiment for coping with everyday life. “Storms” are inevitable, whether they involve health issues, marriage and family challenges, financial difficulties, career conflicts, cars and appliances that break down at inopportune times. The reality is not if we are going to encounter adversity in various forms, but when.

We live in a pain-avoidance society. If you have a twinge, take a Tylenol, an aspirin, or something stronger. Drugs and alcohol are commonly used by people seeking to become oblivious to the storms swirling around them. But all too often, once the Band-aid is removed, or the pain-killer wears off, the problems persist.

No amount of legislation can end them. No amount of money can buy carefree, pain-free living. So if we’re stuck with storms, what can we do? Learn to dance in the rain.

The Bible offers curious advice regarding what it terms “trials” and “tribulations”: “…we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint, because God has poured out his love into our hearts…” (Romans 5:3-5).

In case we overlook that passage, similar thoughts are found in James 1:2-4, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

Rejoice? Consider it “pure joy” when we encounter the trials and tribulations of life? That’s hard to do, without question – unless we embrace the promise from the Scriptures that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). If we truly believe that, then yes, we can learn to dance in the rain!

Beauty in the Scars

People collect all manner of things – coins, stamps, dishes, comic books, trading cards, antique furniture, vintage toys. Something we all collect with the passing of years, like it or not, are scars. My wife and I were talking about this recently, in light of surgeries we’ve undergone – major and minor – that left permanent physical reminders.

I also have scars on my hands from encounters with sharp objects. One was etched in my skin by the edge of a metal door frame while carrying a large box out of a store years ago. The others? I’ve long forgotten how I got those.

We also acquire other kinds of scars over time, although some aren’t outwardly visible. They can be byproducts of extremely difficult work situations, overwhelming financial challenges, painful relationships or other issues. Those problems may have gotten resolved, but their memory remains imbedded in our psyches.

But scars aren’t necessarily bad. Surgical scars, for instance, can be reminders of successful procedures to correct defects or heal diseased organs. Scars of everyday struggles can also be beneficial, prompting us to remember lessons that helped transform us into better people.

That person who used to scrape against you like sandpaper might have been God’s means for smoothing rough edges. On-the-job hardships may have helped you to refine skills – or confirm your need to change careers. Agonies over mishandled finances might have taught you to become a wiser steward of your resources.

The Bible tells us, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4).

Memories of hard times in the past may remain, but if we have learned from them, shaping us into more mature and complete individuals, the pain – and scars we bear as souvenirs – were worth enduring.

Why Me? ... or, Why Not Me?

Years ago, a prominent rabbi wrote the bestseller, When Bad Things Happen to Good People, attempting to answer the riddle of why seemingly good people, minding their own business, suddenly face misfortune and tragedy. When such things occur, the almost universal question is, “Why me?”

Perhaps a better question should be, “Why not me?” Because if we’re honest, we’ll admit we’re no more or less worthy or deserving than other people of having good or bad happen to us.

I was reminded of this by a friend who has been struggling with cancer for several years. In an update to people praying for her, she wrote, “I have had people say to me, ‘Why you?’ And my response is, ‘Why not me?’ People all over the globe have cancer. I don’t expect God to spare me from having cancer.”

A courageous attitude? No doubt, but one all genuine followers of Christ should embrace. Being members of God’s family does not exempt us from hardships and adversity. After all, Jesus declared, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). The apostle Paul, commenting on his own struggles, said God’s response was, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Looking back over the course of my spiritual journey, I find many of my greatest lessons have come during times when “bad stuff” was happening. In the midst of the pain, God was teaching. Most of all, He was showing me that I can trust Him no matter what.

That’s what my friend Karen meant when she wrote, “The vital truth – the sustaining truth – is I can count on Him to love, strengthen and care for me this day and every day that follows.”

One Day for Thanksgiving

Thursday, of course, is Thanksgiving Day. Historians trace the holiday to 1621 at Plymouth Plantation, where the Pilgrims initially observed “a day of thanksgiving.” But it was President Abraham Lincoln, in 1863, who proclaimed a national Thanksgiving Day should be observed annually on the final Thursday of November.

So, many of us will gather this week with family and friends for bountiful meals and a time to reflect on things for which we are thankful. This is a wonderful tradition, but there’s no reason to wait until the end of November to express our thankfulness. It’s something we can be doing on a daily basis.

In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, the apostle Paul exhorts his readers, “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” This comes immediately after he writes, “Be joyful always, pray continually.” So the act of thanksgiving should not restricted to a special time or occasion, but rather practiced 24:7 – and regardless of our circumstances.

It’s easy to feel thankful when things in our lives go well, but what about when things don’t go well?

Years ago I helped a friend of mine, Albert Diepeveen, put together a booklet about his life entitled, “Saying ‘Thank You’ Even When You Don’t Feel Thankful.” In it Albert recounts the numerous hardships he has encountered throughout his life, including bouts with tuberculosis and cancer, along with business challenges. Yet he has remained unswervingly positive and hopeful – because of his unshakable trust in God’s love and mercy.

“Remember that God is in control of all things,” he writes. “When you accept Christ, your life is going to be really changed. One of those changes is you realize everything is going to be all right, no matter what.”

And that’s reason to be thankful – every day!