If You’re Unhappy, Did You Know You Have a Choice?

Even though I’m not an expert, it seems there are a lot of unhappy people in the world around us. Maybe you’re one of them.

Whenever I feel like I’m suffering from an overdose of happiness, all I have to turn on the morning or evening news and voila, problem solved. The sky is falling! (Just as it was yesterday, and the day before that.) At least as far as we can tell by the incessant, fear-mongering news reporting. Chicken Little, along with the little boy who always cried wolf, would feel right at home in our day and age.

What happens when we succumb and start feeling overcome by fear? We start feeling unhappy. The calm, serene, predictable world we loved so much is stripped away, and we’re not pleased about it one tiny bit. 

Lest we blame the news media for pervasive unhappiness, let’s be honest. It’s not all their fault. We also have social media, where a bunch of angry, miserable people relish their daily opportunities to rant on whatever seems to be stuck in their craw. Misery loves company, they say, so if you’re miserable, why not try sharing your angst with others? It’s nice to share, right?

But even if we somehow manage to filter out the news, and social media, we can still find more than enough reasons for unhappiness. We don’t like our marriage. We don’t like our family. We don’t like our job. We don’t like our house – or our car. We don’t like the clothes in our bulging closets. Need I go on?

So, are we captives of unhappiness? Is misery destined to be our constant companion? Well, I want to let you in on a secret: You don’t have to be unhappy.

Years ago, I came across a book called Happiness Is A Choice. I don’t recall the author offhand, but just the title alone was profound. Because we can't control our circumstances, and we can’t control the world around us, but we can control our response to them. If you Google “happiness is a choice,” you’ll find that science and modern psychology confirm that indeed, we can decide to be happy. Even if the environment around us isn't happy, happy, happy.

I’ve written in the past about the commands from Romans 5 and James 1, stating we’re to rejoice or “count it all joy” when we encounter the inevitable challenges and trials of life. But the apostle Paul gave very specific instructions about how we’re to choose happiness, regardless of the situation in which we find ourselves. It’s not all that complicated, he said:

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).

He wasn’t saying that everything was “peachy keen,” or whatever the saying was back then. He was writing this letter to the believers in Philippi while in prison, so Paul certainly wasn’t being idealistic or delusional. No one called him “Pollyanna Paul.” He was simply pointing out the choice we have. We can focus on the bad stuff and let it consume our thoughts, dragging them downward. Or we can concentrate on the good, positive and redeeming things we can discover even at the worst of times – if only we’re willing to look for them.

Even in the midst of severe health problems, financial struggles and workplace challenges, we can choose to be happy and shed the mantle of misery. The best way to do that is never forgetting that we’re not journeying through this life alone, that the Lord is always with us and He wants what’s best for us even more than we do.

This is why we’re told, “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things” (Colossians 3:2). Paul told Christ followers in ancient Rome, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will” (Romans 12:2).

I remember the words from the old Tony Bennett song, “Gray skies are gonna clear up, put on a happy face.” Because they always have – and they always will. And since it doesn’t take any less energy to maintain a frown than to make a smile, why not choose the latter?

Healing Powers of a Happy Heart

These are some of the "emojis" available on Apple's OS 10.2.
Sometimes they're the only smiles we see.

Watching TV, we learn about great new prescription medications available for addressing all manner of aches, pains, symptoms and diseases. Take a pill, or get a shot, and we’ll be good as new (or so it seems). And we often see or read news about major medical advances, reports of researchers on the verge of easing or eradicating various maladies. For strugglers with chronic illnesses, such information offers welcomed hope.

There’s one health alternative, however, that’s typically overlooked: Laughter.

Back in the 1970’s, Norman Cousins, a journalist, author, educator and world peace advocate, brought this “cure” to light. In his book, An Anatomy of an Illness: As Perceived by the Patient, Cousins wrote about a degenerative disease he contracted following a stress-filled trip to the Soviet Union in 1964. Racked with constant pain, he sought medical treatment only to be informed death was imminent.

Cousins, however, reasoned his distress must have been stress-induced, so he prescribed for himself an “antidote” – extremely high doses of vitamin C, accompanied by a continual stream of humorous films and similar “laughing matter.” He discovered 10 minutes of hilarious laughter would provide two hours of pain-free sleep, something even morphine and other pain medications could not do.

His health slowly improved; within six months he was back on his feet. After two years, he resumed work full-time as an editor of the Saturday Review. Cousins’ amazing recovery baffled scientists, but he maintained the key was being able to laugh his way to health.

As this emoji might indicate,
sometimes we need to laugh
to keep from crying.

I thought about this while pondering our society, which is ailing in so many ways. Everyone seems angry, easily offended, and up in arms about practically anything they can imagine. Smiles, much less laughter, seem in short supply. We have emojis to represent various feelings, but they’re a poor substitute.

Maybe if we intentionally tried laughing, resolving to do it often, we – and society – would become a lot healthier. As a newspaper colleague of mine used to say years ago, “Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.”

Perhaps that’s why I enjoy my status as a perpetrator of puns. Maybe the humor isn’t particularly sophisticated, but if it elicits a laugh, a chuckle, even a smile, it’s served its purpose.

Cousins wasn’t the first to discover the healing powers of humor, of cultivating a happy heart. Far from it. The Bible’s book of Proverbs repeatedly speaks of the benefits of an high-spirited heart:

“A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit” (Proverbs 15:13).

“All the days of the oppressed are wretched, but the cheerful heart has a continual feast” (Proverbs 15:15).

“A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones” (Proverbs 15:30).

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” ((Proverbs 16:24).

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” (Proverbs 17:22).

“The strong spirit of a man will sustain him in bodily pain or trouble, but a weak and broken spirit who can raise up or bear?” (Proverbs 18:14, Amplified).

Such observations and admonitions aren’t limited to the Old Testament. In fact, one of the shortest verses in the Bible makes this simple declaration: “Rejoice always” (1 Thessalonians 5:16). And if our hope and confidence come from the Lord alone, rejoicing isn’t an unreasonable expectation.

Several books have been written called Happiness Is a Choice. Indeed, it is. We can let the world manipulate our emotions and moods, or we can focus on things that make us smile, laugh – and even rejoice – giving us a happy heart. And with cheerful looks, pleasant words, and even silly jokes, we can help others to do the same!