Isn’t love grand? It’s so grand we designate a special holiday for it – Valentine’s Day. (It’s tomorrow, in case you’ve forgotten or need to make some last-minute plans.) We have many symbols for this annual celebration of love: red and pink hearts; cherubic-looking Cupids armed with amorous arrows; beautiful floral bouquets; brightly colored boxes of candy; heartwarming images of couples holding each other close, gazing lovingly into one another’s eyes.
Hurray for love! Or as the French say, “Vive l’amour!” But how does one find love, true love? As the old country song lamented, many folks seem to be “looking for love in all the wrong places.”
If we believe the ‘love gospel’ according to Hallmark, a good place to start is with a “meet cute.” A seemingly random encounter with an attractive stranger, ranging from a memorable glance or inadvertent touch to something more momentous, like spilling a drink on the other person or knocking important papers out of someone’s hands. In any event, they meet.
The chance connection is soon repeated, bringing two people together whether they like it or not. Typically, they’re as different as country mouse and city mouse, but that’s no obstacle for true love, is it? Hallmark doesn’t think so. There’s conflict, but then there’s liking one another, followed by a lot of liking, and finally, falling head over heels in love – amazingly all within the span of a week or so!
Heartwarming scenario, right? But isn’t there – shouldn’t there – be more to love than surging hormones, emotions and physical attraction? As Proverbs 31:30 wisely observes, “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Animal magnetism is short-lived.
Even a casual search through the Scriptures shows Hallmark’s version of love has little in common with the biblical one. One’s all about “me”: What he/she does for me, makes me feel, gives me what I need. In the Bible, however, love is much more about giving than receiving. A verse many of us have heard again and again, John 3:16, makes this clear: “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”
And this wasn’t for just a “cameo appearance,” as the movie folks would call it. He came not only to teach, perform miracles, and serve as a righteous example, but also to perform the ultimate act of love. “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
Why would Jesus ‘take the rap’ for us? He did nothing wrong; we’ve done many things wrong, so much that Romans 3:10 declares, “There is no one righteous, not even one…no one who seeks God.” And Romans 3:23 adds, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” In other words, not one of us is deserving of God’s love, forgiveness and redemption – ultimately, the promise of life after death and acceptance as members of the Lord’s eternal family.
Nevertheless, in explaining what love is like from His perspective, Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). He made this statement within the context of teaching how we’re to love others:
“As the Father has loved Me, so I have loved you. Now remain in My love. If you obey My commands, you will remain in My love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in His love…. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you” (John 15:9-12).
This doesn’t sound like the warm, gushy, sentimental type of love that’s promoted on Valentine’s Day, does it? No, it’s about selflessness and sacrifice.
Another passage that powerfully describes what God’s love looks like is found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-13, a passage often used as part of wedding ceremonies. It says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud…not rude…not self-seeking…not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails….”
Wow! Some of us have a difficult enough time demonstrating the Hallmark kind of love. The others-oriented, humble kind of love presented in the Scriptures doesn’t seem difficult – it seems impossible.
From a human perspective, this is true. But the good news, for those of us who have committed our lives to Christ, is we don’t have to muster up the biblical form of love on our own. God never expects us that of us. Earlier in His explanation about love, Jesus made this clear. He said, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5).
In talking about “fruit,” the Lord wasn’t referring to peaches or apples. Galatians 5:22-23 details what it calls “the fruit of the Spirit,” and the very first of these cited is…love.
So, as we celebrate another Valentine’s Day, there’s nothing wrong with physical expressions of love for our spouse or partner. But we should use this day as a reminder of what God says about love. “By this we know what love is: Jesus laid down His life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers” (1 John 3:16).
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