Golden Anniversaries Don’t Come Along Every Day

Fifty years. Half a century. That’s a long time – for anything. Working at the same job. Living in one place. Operating a business. And especially these days, staying married. 

Most weddings start with excitement and optimism: Promising to love and cherish, in sickness and in health, in times of prosperity and times of want, as long as life lasts. But soon the business of marriage sets in, novelty in the relationship wears off, and solemn vows are forgotten. Half of all marriages end in divorce, statistics tell us. The sappy “happily ever after” promises of fairy tales and Hallmark movies vanish like vapors.

 

So, forgive my self-indulgence by announcing that in a couple of days my wife and I will celebrate a milestone event: our golden wedding anniversary. Wow! 

Fifty years ago, in 1974, Richard M. Nixon, then Gerald Ford, were President. Hank Aaron broke Babe Ruth’s home run record. Stephen King published his debut horror novel, “Carrie.” The Sears Tower in Chicago became the world’s tallest building. There was the largest tornado outbreak in history. The Alaskan oil pipeline was started. Elton John recorded “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.” Mel Brooks’ “Blazing Saddles” was a box office smash. “Happy Days” and “the Fonz” became all-time TV favorites.

 

At our wedding, the idea of being married for 50 years never crossed our minds. Like all newlyweds, our focus was on the present, maybe a month or two down the road. Not the distant future.

 

Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” That’s me, although it took a while for me to realize this. In every good marriage, husbands typically say they’ve got the best wife ever. God indeed has blessed me with the best wife – at least the best one for me. Who else could have put up with me for five decades?

 

I can honestly say the love we felt back in 1974 pales in comparison to the love that’s grown in our hearts over the years since. We’ve enjoyed health, but also have dealt with sickness and disease. We’ve faced financial challenges, family crises, highs and lows of many kinds. But by the grace of God – and I don’t say that lightly – He’s enabled us to endure and thrive.

 

Ours isn’t a perfect marriage. Not even close. But it’s grown stronger over time. We don’t have a ‘secret’ to marital longevity, but if I were to point to one singular asset, I’d have to say it’s been our faith and trust in the Lord and the truths and principles of His Word.

 

Sally and I met in a church. After some difficulties early on, we reconciled in the same church. And through the transforming power of Jesus Christ, we’ve learned how to truly love and cherish one another. But in this world where “love” can mean so many different things, I think what we understand love to be can best be defined by a passage commonly (and perhaps casually) included in wedding ceremonies – 1 Corinthians 13:4-6.

 

If we seriously ponder this passage, we learn it’s counter-cultural in our predominantly self-centered society. It declares, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

 

Applying this teaching to my own life, I must admit these virtues don’t come easily to me, especially things like patience, kindness, and not being easily angered. Entering adulthood, they weren’t “default settings.” I’ve grown in each area, but it hasn’t been of my doing. 

 

Two Bible verses explain my ‘progress.’ In 2 Corinthians 5:17 we’re told, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” The other is Galatians 2:20, which says of all genuine followers of Jesus, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

 

If someone were to ask how to enjoy an enduring marriage that honors God, I’d have to say, “You can’t.” Our flesh – what the Bible calls our “sinful nature” – is too weak. But as the apostle Paul wrote, “I can do all things through Christ who strengths me” (Philippians 4:13). He can empower us to do what we can’t in our own strength and effort. Our trust, hope, persevering during tough times – only possible through Him.

 

My wife is my hero. She’s endured the proverbial thick and thin, putting up with a very flawed man who loves her more every day. Sally’s a devoted wife, wonderful mother and grandma, and gives so much of herself without expecting anything in return. In many ways she reminds me of the woman described in the book of Proverbs, who “watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her…” (Proverbs 31:27-28).

 

Ultimately, I must give all the credit and glory to God. Some have wisely said the best marriages consist of three persons, not two: husband, wife, and Jesus Christ. If you envision this as a triangle, with Christ at the top, as husband and wife grow closer to Him, they grow closer to each other. Imperfect as our marriage is, I believe this is an accurate picture of us.