Thinking About Others in a ‘Selfie’ World

We’ve all heard the saying, “There’s no ‘i’ in team.” For sticklers on spelling, that’s true in the most literal sense. But the best teams also seem to be able to minimize the focus on “me” and “I”; players understand that they’re part of something much greater and work to support each other, subordinating their own personal goals.

 

Achieving this might be more difficult than ever in our “selfie” world, with so many people preening and taking photos of themselves from every possible angle with their smartphones. I get it. I’ve done it myself. People like to use photos to chronicle where they are and what they’ve been doing, but this non-stop focus on self can’t be all good.

Recently a friend recalled an observation from a speaker who cited two words we often encounter that do include the letter “i.” In fact, it’s right in the middle of both: Anxiety and pride. I can think of another one: sin. And it’s definitely related to the two others.

 

There’s lots of “I” in the ways we use these words. Like practically everyone else, I’ve experienced anxiety – maybe more than my share – over the past couple of years. I admit that when feeling anxious (yet another word with an “I” right in the middle!) my focus is usually on how I’m feeling, how stresses and uncertainties of living in a pandemic-riddled world are affecting me.

 

Similarly, more often than not, pride puffs up a person. We concentrate on things such as, “What do people think of me?”, “See what I have?” or, “Look at what I have accomplished. Anybody noticing?” Having a measure of self-satisfaction in what we’ve done isn’t wrong, but in excess it can lead to patting ourselves on the back so hard we risk breaking our arms.

 

Throughout human history, long before “selfies” became a thing, inordinate focus on oneself created all manner of problems. The mythical tale of Narcissus provides a classic example. It’s about an impossibly handsome young man who fell in love with his own image when he saw it reflected in a pool of water. We could say this tragic fellow’s thinking was all wet. But to this day we call people narcissists who become obsessed with themselves. Perhaps a few names immediately come to mind?

 

The Scriptures don’t address selfie mania specifically, but they do offer many warnings about the pitfalls of getting controlled by our own interests and desires. When Jesus instructed His followers to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31), He wasn’t giving friendly advice; He was dead serious. He personified that principle by willingly dying on a cross to become the atoning sacrifice for our sins: “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

 

Another time the Lord said, “Greater love has no one than this, that a person will lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). When His disciples saw Him nailed to the cross, this statement must have echoed loudly in their minds.

 

Thankfully, living and acting contrary to selfie culture doesn’t usually require literally dying for others. We can demonstrate orientation toward others in many ways. Philippians 2:3-4 admonishes, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.” That seems to cover just about everything we might do.

 

Years ago, we heard the mantra, “You have to look out for No. 1! If you don’t, who will?” And there’s a measure of truth to that. But biblical admonitions seem to be saying that as we look out for others, even putting their needs and interests above our own, we’re ultimately helping ourselves as well.

 

Many of us remember Jesus’ admonition, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). This is a wonderful virtue on its own, but it also communicates that when we help others, in effect we’re helping ourselves as well.

 

We find this truth affirmed in Proverbs 11:24-25, “One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.” This doesn’t guarantee a dollar for dollar return on our generosity, but there’s great joy in knowing God is using us to help others.

So, the next time you feel the urge to take a selfie to make a record of where you’ve been, maybe on vacation or attending a major event, or capture a moment with a special person, go right ahead. But we can also keep in mind that an even better “picture” would be of us stepping forward in ways that put the needs and interests of others ahead of our own.