The Woeful World of ‘Woulda,’ ‘Coulda,’ and ‘Shoulda’

Do you have any regrets? If you don’t, you’re a member of a very exclusive minority. Because whether they’re large or small, regrets are something most of us possess.

 

Even Frank Sinatra, the iconic crooner, had them. In his classic ballad, “My Way,” he sang, “…Regrets, I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention.” Frankly (see what I did there?), I think he might have been untruthful about the “too few” part, but we’ll never know for sure.

 

Regrets come in all shapes and sizes. It might be passing a highway exit and then quickly regretting it, realizing the call of nature might not wait for the next exit. Or it might be missing a long-awaited TV show and realizing you didn’t set the VCR to record for future viewing. Or surrendering to that second piece of cake that looked too enticing to pass up.

 

Then there are more consequential regrets, such as choosing one college over another; taking one job rather than waiting for another, more desirable opportunity; not making an investment that years later would have paid off handsomely.

 

Often regrets involve relationships, like leaving the love of one’s life behind and later realizing with great sadness that he or she was ‘the one.’ If you’ve ever watched Hallmark movies (I think my wife and I have viewed too many), you’ll recognize that as a recurring theme.

 

Harry Chapin’s folk-rock song of the early ‘70s, “Cat’s in the Cradle,” is all about regrets. It tells of a father who was never available as his son grew up, ignoring key moments to make a connection. The little boy repeatedly asks, “When you coming home, dad?” To which the father responds, “I don’t know when – but we’ll get together then. You know we’ll have a good time then.”

 

At the end of the tune, when the indifferent dad finally finds time for his now-grown son, the son has become the too-busy one. “When you coming home, son?” “I don’t know when. But we’ll have a good time then.” The song’s moral? “…it occurred to me, he’d grown up just like me. My boy was just like me.”

 

When expressing regrets, we use words like “woulda,” “coulda,” and “shoulda”: ‘If I had known that was going to happen, I woulda….’ ‘Thinking about it now, I guess I coulda….’ ‘Gosh darn it, I shoulda….’

 

I think of it as the Woeful World of Woulda, Shoulda, and Coulda. The problem is, wishing we had done something – or had not done something – does little good after the fact. That’s where regrets and even remorse come in, dwelling on such failings. 

 

What can we do with nagging regrets? While we can’t undo what we’ve done – or do things we now know we should have done (there’s that shoulda word) – we can learn from them for now and for the future. We can stop piling regret upon regret upon regret.

 

If anyone could or should have been overwhelmed by regrets, it was the apostle Paul. As Saul, a very proud and prominent Pharisee, he had made it his personal mission to seek out, persecute and even kill followers of Jesus. At the time, he believed he was doing God – and Judaism – a great favor.

 

He was present when Stephen, a devoted Christ follower described as “a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit” (Acts 6:5), was killed for proclaiming the Gospel. As Stephen was dragged out of Jerusalem and stoned, “the witnesses laid their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul…. And Saul was there, giving approval to his death” (Acts 7:58-60).

 

Can you imagine the regret Paul must have felt upon being converted and turning into one of Christ’s most zealous evangelists?

 

And that’s not all. Barnabas had been one of Paul’s greatest advocates after his conversion, and they had traveled together on several important mission trips. But the two clashed over John Mark, a relative of Barnabas who had bailed on one of their early journeys. When John Mark wanted to rejoin them, “Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company” (Acts 15:37-40). 

 

Turns out, all John Mark did was to be God’s instrument for writing the Gospel of Mark. In one of his later letters, Paul indirectly acknowledged Barnabas’ better judgment. He wrote, “Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry” (2 Timothy 4:11).

 

Did Paul indulge himself in a pity party, wallowing in a boatload of wouldas, couldas and shouldas? Not at all. In a different letter the apostle declared, “…Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13-14).

Like Paul, we’re to leave our yesterdays in the loving arms of God the Father, forgiving ourselves as He has forgiven us. We can also learn from our failures and take responsibility for the present moment; and trust that through Christ’s power we’ll do better in the future. A future unburdened by regrets. 

Patiently Pondering Our Perpetual Lack of Patience

Did you hear about the physician who was always in a hurry? He had patients, but he didn’t have patience. (You may groan now.) Truth be told, patience is a virtue deficient in many of us. 

 

Think about it: On the roadways, our patience is tested almost continuously. Slow drivers in the fast lane. Traffic lights taking forever to turn green so we can proceed toward our destination. And the driver ahead of us apparently falling asleep waiting for the light to change. Traffic jams at the most inopportune times. Driving is my greatest reminder that my patience isn’t what it should be.

 

There are many other areas where patience – or one’s lack of it – is manifested: Doctors’ offices. The DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) that might as well be the DMZ (Demilitarized Zone), since we feel like taking up arms. Store checkout lines. Important phone calls that seem way overdue.

 

You could add examples of your own, but the point is we’re a very impatient people. Waiting and suffering through delays are sure blood-pressure boosters.

 

If I hear someone say they’re praying for patience, I cringe. Because I’ve learned one of God’s most preferred and effective ways for developing patience is to use circumstances that force us to be patient. 

 

Patience is one of the most accurate measuring sticks of spiritual growth. For assessing spirituality, we tend to use tangible things like how often we read the Bible; how many Scripture verses we’ve memorized; how regularly we attend church, and how glibly we pray. But a much more accurate gauge might be described in Galatians 5:22-23: 

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

 

Sometimes we misread that passage as stating the “fruits” of the Spirit, but as I understand it, these virtues aren’t separate; they’re part of the same tree, rooted in the Holy Spirit. In other words, if we exhibit much love and joy but manifest a serious deficit in virtues like patience, or goodness, or gentleness, that’s a good indication that – like symptoms that reveal an illness – something’s wrong.

 

As believers we should find ourselves growing in every aspect of the fruit of the Spirit, but for now let’s focus on patience. Because for some, patience is the greatest stumbling block. I’ve written about this before, but passages like Psalm 37:7, “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him,” and Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God,” have caused me considerable consternation over the years.

 

‘I don’t want to wait, Lord! ‘I want to do something – just tell me what to do!’

 

But how can we make ourselves be patient when that’s not our inclination? Some folks seem calm and composed regardless of the circumstances, and good for them. But what if we’re not wired that way?

 

This is why it’s important  to appropriate the truth of 2 Corinthians 5:17, that we are “new creations” in Jesus Christ. That everyone who’s a genuine follower must be “born again,” as He declared in John 3:3.

 

My friend Oswald Chambers, whose writings in My Utmost for His Highest have ministered to me for decades, explains it better that I can. In one entry he says:

“The mystery of sanctification is that the perfections of Jesus Christ are imparted to me instantly – not gradually…. Sanctification is ‘Christ in me.’ It is Christ’s own wonderful life that is imparted to me by faith as a sovereign gift of God’s grace…. Sanctification means that Jesus gives me His patience, His love, His holiness, His faith, His purity, and His godliness. All these are manifested in and through every sanctified soul….”

 

We want to nod affirmation to those statements, but deep down we’re wondering, ‘Yes, I believe that. But why do I still struggle with being impatient (among other things)?’ This is where the astonishing words of the apostle Paul come in.

 

In Romans 7:15-20 he wrote, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do…. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me….” 

 

When I first read this, I initially thought Paul was writing in circles. Later I thought his statement – “Now if I do what I do not want to do it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it” – was a copout. But the truth is, in Christ we are dead to sin – but sin is not dead to us. It can still influence our “flesh,” our sinful nature that remains with us.

 

We may never fully master impatience this side of eternity. It might even be for us the equivalent of what Paul termed his “thorn in the flesh” (2 Corinthians 12:7), a constant reminder of how desperately dependent we are on the Lord for living the way He desires.

As we grow spiritually, however, at the very least we can and should experience progress in this area – as well as others. As Paul declared, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13), and that includes being patient even when we see no good reason for doing so. Whenever I try to offer the excuse, ‘I can’t!”, the Lord is poised to respond, ‘I know. But I can!’ 

Sometimes A Little Fire Is Just What We Need

Do you like pancakes? How about a grilled cheese sandwich, maybe even with bacon? Yum! Now that I have your mouth watering, I’ve got a question to ask: Can you imagine being a pancake, gooey batter being transformed into a fluffy breakfast treat by the searing heat of the griddle? Or being a grilled cheese sandwich, sizzling in the frying pan until the cheese becomes melted perfectly 

It’s a good thing pancakes and grilled sandwiches aren’t alive because of the intense heat they’re subjected to before we can enjoy them. If I believed in reincarnation – which I don’t – I’d hate to come back as a grilled cheese sandwich in the making.

But aren’t there times when circumstances make you feel like you’re going through fire? Some colloquialisms even use that as reference. Crime suspects being interrogated are described as being “grilled.” It must be a painful experience when detectives turn up the heat in the interrogation room.

 

Then there’s an old favorite, “going from the frying pan into the fire.” I picture someone on the local interstate with delusions of being a NASCAR driver, exceeding the speed limit by 20 miles per hour or more. When he sees a police car in pursuit, the would-be ‘Earnhardt’ realizes he’s in the frying pan. But then he foolishly compounds his plight by speeding up and trying to evade law enforcement. Bye-bye frying pan, hello fire!

 

We don’t have to be lawbreakers, however, to experience fiery times. It could be a dreadful health diagnosis. Being fired from a job. Struggling financially with bill collectors having you on speed dial. Being served papers that someone is taking you to court on a serious matter. It may be a prodigal child who’s shown no indication of ever returning home or changing a destructive lifestyle.

 

Peter the apostle became very familiar with adverse situations. His writings make several references to “fiery trials.” Writing to “God’s elect,” scattered in many places, Peter felt the need to encourage them: 

“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed” (1 Peter 1:6-7).

 

Elsewhere in the same letter, Peter addressed the persecution early Christians were facing – a different kind of “fire.” He wrote, “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed” (1 Peter 4:12-13).

 

Taking a serious look at the Scriptures, we find even the most devout believers having to endure severe trials and tribulations. A notable example involved three fellows with the strange-sounding names of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. 

 

These guys, along with Daniel, had been handpicked as trainees for serving the king of Babylon. Even though taken captive in Babylon, these were to become Nebuchadnezzar’s fair-haired boys. They had it made. Until they didn’t.

 

King Neb had created a golden image of himself. Seeking the deference he felt he deserved, the king had commanded that at the sound of horns and other instruments, everyone in Babylon was to bow down and worship his image. But Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego knew one of God’s 10 commandments was not to worship any idols, regardless of who or what they represented. The Lord God alone was to be worshiped, and Shad, Mesh and Abe took that command very seriously, even though they were in Babylon and not Israel.

 

When Nebuchadnezzar learned, “They neither serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up” – he literally got hot under the collar. He gave them an option: “…if you are ready to fall down and worship the image I made, very good. But if you do not worship it, you will be thrown immediately into a blazing furnace” (Daniel 3:12-15).

 

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego stood their ground, responding, “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it…. But even if He does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up” (Daniel 3:17-18).

 

Enraged, the king had the furnace super-heated and had his strongest soldiers tie them up and throw them into the inferno. The fire was so hot it killed the soldiers who carried them to the furnace. But the three Israelites weren’t consumed. In fact, Nebuchadnezzar could see them strolling around in the midst of the fire, accompanied by a mysterious fourth person.

 

When the king relented and allowed the men to leave the furnace, they had not a scratch. Their hair had not been singed. They didn’t even smell like smoke! This resulted in a dramatic change of heart for Nebuchadnezzar. He not only declared, “Praise to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego,” but he also decreed no one should offer any opposition to their God (Daniel 3:26-29).

 

I think there’s a lesson in there for us. Not only that the Lord is sovereign over all circumstances and can protect His children from harm, but also that as people observe whatever “fires” we’re going through, they can perceive our unwavering faith in God and perhaps be drawn to Him as well.

 

Best of all, while none of us intentionally seeks out hardship – the “fires” that can pop up so unexpectedly – they are often God’s best way for developing us into the people He desires for us to be. As Romans 5:3-4 tells us, “…we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character hope.” Think about that the next time you make pancakes – or a grilled cheese sandwich.

Golden Anniversaries Don’t Come Along Every Day

Fifty years. Half a century. That’s a long time – for anything. Working at the same job. Living in one place. Operating a business. And especially these days, staying married. 

Most weddings start with excitement and optimism: Promising to love and cherish, in sickness and in health, in times of prosperity and times of want, as long as life lasts. But soon the business of marriage sets in, novelty in the relationship wears off, and solemn vows are forgotten. Half of all marriages end in divorce, statistics tell us. The sappy “happily ever after” promises of fairy tales and Hallmark movies vanish like vapors.

 

So, forgive my self-indulgence by announcing that in a couple of days my wife and I will celebrate a milestone event: our golden wedding anniversary. Wow! 

Fifty years ago, in 1974, Richard M. Nixon, then Gerald Ford, were President. Hank Aaron broke Babe Ruth’s home run record. Stephen King published his debut horror novel, “Carrie.” The Sears Tower in Chicago became the world’s tallest building. There was the largest tornado outbreak in history. The Alaskan oil pipeline was started. Elton John recorded “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road.” Mel Brooks’ “Blazing Saddles” was a box office smash. “Happy Days” and “the Fonz” became all-time TV favorites.

 

At our wedding, the idea of being married for 50 years never crossed our minds. Like all newlyweds, our focus was on the present, maybe a month or two down the road. Not the distant future.

 

Proverbs 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.” That’s me, although it took a while for me to realize this. In every good marriage, husbands typically say they’ve got the best wife ever. God indeed has blessed me with the best wife – at least the best one for me. Who else could have put up with me for five decades?

 

I can honestly say the love we felt back in 1974 pales in comparison to the love that’s grown in our hearts over the years since. We’ve enjoyed health, but also have dealt with sickness and disease. We’ve faced financial challenges, family crises, highs and lows of many kinds. But by the grace of God – and I don’t say that lightly – He’s enabled us to endure and thrive.

 

Ours isn’t a perfect marriage. Not even close. But it’s grown stronger over time. We don’t have a ‘secret’ to marital longevity, but if I were to point to one singular asset, I’d have to say it’s been our faith and trust in the Lord and the truths and principles of His Word.

 

Sally and I met in a church. After some difficulties early on, we reconciled in the same church. And through the transforming power of Jesus Christ, we’ve learned how to truly love and cherish one another. But in this world where “love” can mean so many different things, I think what we understand love to be can best be defined by a passage commonly (and perhaps casually) included in wedding ceremonies – 1 Corinthians 13:4-6.

 

If we seriously ponder this passage, we learn it’s counter-cultural in our predominantly self-centered society. It declares, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

 

Applying this teaching to my own life, I must admit these virtues don’t come easily to me, especially things like patience, kindness, and not being easily angered. Entering adulthood, they weren’t “default settings.” I’ve grown in each area, but it hasn’t been of my doing. 

 

Two Bible verses explain my ‘progress.’ In 2 Corinthians 5:17 we’re told, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” The other is Galatians 2:20, which says of all genuine followers of Jesus, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

 

If someone were to ask how to enjoy an enduring marriage that honors God, I’d have to say, “You can’t.” Our flesh – what the Bible calls our “sinful nature” – is too weak. But as the apostle Paul wrote, “I can do all things through Christ who strengths me” (Philippians 4:13). He can empower us to do what we can’t in our own strength and effort. Our trust, hope, persevering during tough times – only possible through Him.

 

My wife is my hero. She’s endured the proverbial thick and thin, putting up with a very flawed man who loves her more every day. Sally’s a devoted wife, wonderful mother and grandma, and gives so much of herself without expecting anything in return. In many ways she reminds me of the woman described in the book of Proverbs, who “watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her…” (Proverbs 31:27-28).

 

Ultimately, I must give all the credit and glory to God. Some have wisely said the best marriages consist of three persons, not two: husband, wife, and Jesus Christ. If you envision this as a triangle, with Christ at the top, as husband and wife grow closer to Him, they grow closer to each other. Imperfect as our marriage is, I believe this is an accurate picture of us.

Healthy Skepticism Isn’t a Bad Thing

Skepticism. There seems to be a lot of it these days. Have you ever felt skeptical about something, especially of late? I know I have. 

 

For a long time, we’ve been told to “trust the science.” However, science is never “settled.” Discoveries are made constantly that upset previously held conclusions. Also, it has become apparent ‘the science’ can be as much defined by ideology and agendas as it is by facts. Sometimes there’s reason to distrust the science.

We’re moving into the teeth of a crucial election season. Candidates will be preening and posturing, promising we can trust them – but not their opponents. However, we’ve learned that 20 campaign promises and $6 will get us a small latte at our favorite coffee shop. If experience has taught anything about politics, it’s that we have reason to be skeptical.

 

If we look closely at any of our revered institutions – the news media, entertainment, the business world, education, even religion – we’ll find more than enough examples to justify skepticism. And you’ve probably learned we can’t believe everything we find on the Internet or social media. 

 

Perhaps it has always been this way, but it’s evident that more than ever, we’d be wise not to believe everything we see and only half of what we hear. 

 

So where does that put us when we’re considering the teachings and hallowed truths many of us have embraced from the Bible? Christianity certainly has its share of skeptics – maybe more than its share. But over the years I’ve learned that healthy skepticism isn’t a bad thing.

 

One dictionary defines skepticism as “the method of suspended judgment, systemic doubt, or criticism.” I like the term, suspended judgment. We encounter lots of people holding the attitude of, ‘I’ve made up my mind. Don’t confuse me with the facts.’ But suspended judgment doesn’t seem as certain or as dogmatic. It’s more, ‘I don’t know yet. I need more information before reaching a conclusion.’

 

Would you be surprised to know the Bible presents numerous skeptics in both the Old and New Testaments? Even some of its central figures?

 

Take Moses, for example. After seeing the burning bush and encountering God, Moses was understandably skeptical when the Lord said, “So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring My people the Israelites out of Egypt” (Exodus 3:10). Moses, who was tending his father-in-law Jethro’s sheep before spotting the flaming bush, uttered the Hebrew equivalent of “Say what?!”

 

In the next verse we read his response: “Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” Even after God gave him detailed instructions, Moses was still shaking his head. “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The Lord did not appear to you?’” (Exodus 4:1). This obviously hadn’t been on Moses’s to-do list for that day.

 

Finally, the Lord provided two signs to convince him, along with agreeing to let him bring Aaron, his brother, along to assist. Moses shrugged his shoulders and thought, ‘Okay, we’ll give this a shot.’ Can we call him a reluctant prophet?

 

Then we have Gideon, a fellow who was minding his own business threshing wheat when an angel suddenly appeared. The angel declared, “The Lord is with you, mighty warrior” (Judges 6:12). I can imagine Gideon looking around and thinking, ‘Who? You talking to me?’ He replied, “if the Lord is with us, why has all this happened to us?” referring to the Israelites being attacked by the Midianites, Amalekites and some other ‘ites.

 

After some discussion about what God wanted him to do, Gideon remained the skeptic. He demanded proof in the form of two signs involving a wool fleece and the morning dew on the threshing floor (Judges 6:36-40). Only after God had performed the signs did Gideon surrender his skepticism and take on the mission the Lord had given to him.

 

We could cite many others including: Sarai (later renamed Sarah) who laughed when she heard that despite her advanced age, God was going to give her a son (Genesis 18:10-15). The Jewish priest Zechariah, when he was informed his wife Elizabeth, also “well along in years,” was going to have a son (Luke 1:11-20). Jesus’ disciples immediately following His resurrection, and especially Thomas, who demanded proof they weren’t dreaming or having hallucinations (John 20:24-29).

 

We could criticize each of these for not having enough faith to believe what they were told. But we find another brief account in the book of Acts confirming that healthy skepticism isn’t a bad thing. The apostle Paul had been speaking in the Greek city of Berea. It states, “Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true” (Acts 17:11).

 

Describing them as having “noble character” suggests they were teachable and willing to learn but diligent to determine if what Paul was saying aligned with the Old Testament prophecies. They listened as skeptics but were open to receiving the truth.

 

Scottish evangelist and scientist Henry Drummond once made this observation: “Christ never failed to distinguish between doubt and unbelief. Doubt is ‘can’t believe’; doubt is ‘won’t believe.’ Doubt is honesty; unbelief is obstinacy. Doubt is looking for light; unbelief is content with darkness.” 

 

So, if at times we find ourselves questioning what we believe or wondering about something in the Bible, that’s all right as long as, in Drummond’s words, we’re “looking for light,” rather than being “content with darkness.” As Jesus declared, “you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).

Discovering Strength Through Weakness

Strength. We admire those who have it, and those who don’t have it desire it. Before Arnold Schwarzenegger became a motion picture star and then governor of California, he was a body builder with muscles rippling all over his body. His physical strength translated into prominence in the worlds of both entertainment and politics.

 

I remember as a boy seeing comic book ads featuring the “100-pound weakling” and how renowned body builder Charles Atlas’s training could transform him into a force to be reckoned with. As a society, and as a nation, we’ve always been enamored with strength: Military might; political power; financial influence; social clout.

But have you ever considered that being weakness – being weak – isn’t necessarily a bad thing?

 

In many areas of life, the “can-do” spirit is commendable. ‘I can do it!’ ‘I’ve got this!’ But sooner or later we’ll encounter times when our honest response is, “I can’t do this! I give up!” We hate being in that position, but experience has taught me that when I’ve reached the point of “I can’t!”, God is eager to respond, “I know you can’t. But I can!”

 

I could recount numerous times, at various stages of my life, when I’d reached the end of my proverbial rope. I had tried and done everything I could. Then, out of options and at the brink of despair, it was like God telling me, “Okay, now see what I can do.” As lo and behold, as old versions of the Bible would say, I found the Lord truly doing “immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us” (Ephesians 3:20). 

 

Sometimes He met my needs by working through me; sometimes He did it in spite of me. Many times God’s message to us in times of crisis is, “Get out of the way and watch Me work.” In circumstances like these, He showed me that self-reliance isn’t the path to spiritual growth and maturity.

 

Toward the end of His earthly ministry, Jesus Christ taught His disciples a crucial lesson, using a grapevine as a metaphor. He told them, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing…. This is to My Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be My disciples” (John 15:5-8).

 

We enjoy looking at fruit trees and the different types of fruit they can bear – apples, oranges, peaches, grapefruit. Their fruits hang gloriously from the tree limbs, but the limbs by themselves can accomplish nothing. They must be attached to the trunk of the tree, from which they literally receive their life and productivity.

 

It’s the same for followers of Jesus. We can strive as hard as we like, but without His Spirit working in us and through us, we can’t achieve anything of eternal value.

 

The apostle Paul knew this all too well. As Saul, a leading Pharisee zealously persecuting the pesky “Christians” who were viewed as heretics, he had often flexed his strength and influence physically, politically and religiously. However, after His life-changing encounter with Jesus enroute to Damascus, he was undone. God was about to teach him about a very different kind of strength.

 

Years later, writing to believers in ancient Corinth, Paul stated, “To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me…. For when I am weak, then I am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:7-10).

 

This wasn’t just a one-time observation either. Writing to a different group of Christ followers, Paul reflected on the various hardships and challenges he had faced and then declared, “I can do everything through [Christ] who gives me strength” (Philippians 4:13).

 

Are you facing something today that has taken you to your limits, beyond your capacity to handle or resolve? If not now, maybe you will tomorrow, or next week, or next year. Sooner or later such times come to us all. We can shake our fists and curse the devil, but that doesn’t do any good. Those are usually occasions when we can truly experience God’s power at work, building our trust and deepening our faith in Him.

At times such as those, we have no choice but to apply the truth of what both Jesus and Paul asserted: “Apart from Me you can do nothing,” and “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” As the apostle noted, weakness isn’t necessarily a bad thing. 

It Takes Two to Tango – and Many Other Things

Our society places a high premium on individuality and independence. We’ve had the “Me Generation”; slogans like “be true to yourself” and “look out for No. 1”; and a popular old-time cowboy TV show called “The Lone Ranger.” Hooray for Numero Uno, right?

However, many people have discovered that going solo isn’t everything it’s purported to be. The life of a hermit can be a lonely existence. Even the 1960s British pop band called Herman’s Hermits consisted of five “hermits.”

 

Back in 1969, a rock group called “Three Dog Night” recorded a hit tune called, “One.” But its lyrics didn’t exalt the virtues of oneness. See for yourself:

“One is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do

Two can be as bad as one

It’s the loneliest number since the number one….

 

‘Cause one is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do

One is the loneliest number…worse than two.”

 

Kind of a mournful message, but it seems to be reminding us that if you want to get the best out of life, don’t try doing it on your own. Long before “One” hit the airwaves, a very different song by jazz musician Louis Armstrong called “It Takes Two to Tango” agreed. Its lyrics observed:

“You can sail on a ship by yourself

Take a nap or a nip by yourself

You can get into debt on your own.

There’s a lot of things that you can do alone!  

 

But…Takes two to tango, two to tango

Two to really get the feeling of romance…do the dance of love.”

 

Indeed, we need two to accomplish many things. Take sports, for example. You can go fishing by yourself, yes. And you can play golf alone, but where’s the fun in that – unless you enjoy rewarding yourself with multiple mulligans? Try playing tennis, ping-pong or pickleball without a partner.

 

Some people seem to enjoy dining alone, but eating out usually is more enjoyable when it’s a shared experience. When traveling, the sights seem more enjoyable with someone else. An exception might be riding with a chronic ‘backseat driver,’ who thinks a car should have two steering wheels and two brake pedals. But that’s a different matter.

 

In the workplace, some things can be accomplished successfully alone, but in most cases, more can be done with two or more people collaborating. They can pool their collective talents and resources, bounce ideas off one another, see problems from different perspectives, encourage and challenge one another.

 

Most of all, during difficult times, two or more people can provide needed support that one person might lack. As the Old Testament says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up?... A cord of three strands is not quickly broken” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).

 

Then there’s the value of ‘creative friction,’ working past disagreements to arrive at solutions that individual members of a team might not have discovered on their own. I’ve always appreciated Proverbs 27:17, which says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” I’ve seen this principle in action not only vocationally but also spiritually.

 

We should never forget the last thing Jesus Christ told His followers before He ascended to heaven after His resurrection. He said, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you” (Matthew 28:19-20).

 

Out of His small band of followers who spent time with Him 24/7 for three years, Jesus wanted to see multitudes of disciples – growing, learning and reproducing believers who would turn the world upside down. This indeed has happened, but it wasn’t an individual pursuit then – and it’s not now. 

 

Although we all are uniquely created by God, He has always intended for us to function together as the “body of Christ.” As the apostle Paul told believers in first-century Corinth, “Now the body is not made up of one part but of many…. Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it” (1 Corinthians 12:12-27).

There’s a lot more to that passage, but the point is we’re not here to live for ourselves. We’re here first of all to honor and serve God, and second, to join with other devoted followers of Christ to be and to share His Good News to a lost world that desperately needs to know about it. 

Surviving Trials and Turmoil for Nearly 250 Years

This stirring image from a Jacquie Lawson e-card speaks volumes.

Two years from today, the USA will observe the 250^th anniversary of its founding – barring the calamity of calamities. The way things have been going in recent years, who knows? Hopefully we’ll remain the United States of America and not the Untied States.

 

Every Independence Day, July 4, is a good time to pause and reflect on the rich heritage of our nation, the wonder that it even came to be, and its inherent qualities that have drawn millions of men, women and children from around the world to this unique expanse of geography.

 

Having been born on the Fourth of July, almost by default I’m what George M. Cohan termed a “Yankee Doodle Dandy.” The strains of John Philip Sousa marches like “Stars and Stripes Forever,” “The Washington Post,” and “The Thunderer” never fail to give me goosebumps. 

 

And whenever I observe fireworks shows, whether on TV from New York City or Washington, D.C., or local displays in person, I can’t help but think of the courage, determination, vision and sacrifice required to create and sustain this nation. It seems the term “patriot” has become an epithet in the minds of some, but to echo the words of Lee Greenwood, I’m “proud to be an American.”

 

Conflict and unrest the United States is experiencing today remind me of the 1960s, when protests and demonstrations for civil rights and against the Vietnam War set our country’s teeth on edge. Consider some of the lyrics of “For What It’s Worth” by Buffalo Springfield, one of the best-known protest songs of the mid-60s:

“There’s something happening here

But what it is ain’t exactly clear

There’s a man with a gun over there

Telling me I got to beware…

 

There’s battle lines being drawn

Nobody’s right if everybody’s wrong

Young people speaking their minds…

 

Singing songs and they carrying signs

Mostly say, ‘Hooray for our side’…”

 

That song seemed revolutionary during my college days, but a similar scenario was played out in the first century A.D. The apostle Paul’s arrival had ignited a great disturbance among the citizenry of the ancient, polytheistic Greek city of Ephesus. Acts 19:32 describes the situation this way: “The assembly was in confusion: Some were shouting one thing, some another. Most of the people did not even know why they were there” (Acts 19:32). The same could be said about some of the demonstrations we see on the evening news.

 

The teaching of civics and social studies is no longer practiced in many public schools, but even a casual study of U.S. history reveals political and ideological infighting has been a staple of our society. Battle lines always being drawn, people speaking their minds (typically with great zeal), and often declaring, “Hooray for our side.”

 

Nevertheless, in many ways the United States remains the “go-to” destination for countless thousands. Why else would so many people be endeavoring to gain entry, whether through legal or illegal means? Our materialistic way of life may be one of the magnets, but so are our freedoms – of speech, religion, assembly, the press, and many others.

 

Some of our cherished freedoms seem in jeopardy, and I believe we should do all we can to protect them. But for followers of Jesus Christ – citizens not only of this temporal nation but also of the eternal kingdom of God – the freedoms we have received from Him are secure. Here are some of them:

 

Freedom from the power of sin. “It is for freedom that Christ set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery [to sin]” (Galatians 5:1).

Freedom from the judgment of sin. “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me from the law of sin and death” (Romans 8:1).

Freedom to live as God intends for us to live. “You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself’” (Galatians 5:13-14).

Freedom from fear of death. “In My Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you…that you also may be where I am” (John 14:1-3).

 

We could cite many others. While we rightfully celebrate the anniversary of our nation’s founding, every day we can and should celebrate our citizenship in an everlasting kingdom, described in 1 Peter 1:14 as, “an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade – kept in heaven for you.”

 

On Independence Day, we remember the sacrifices of many brave, selfless individuals to preserve our freedoms. As we do so, let’s not forget the One who made the greatest sacrifice of all on our behalf. “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

Patriot’s Dilemma: In This World, But Not of This World

The so-called “separation of church and state” continues to create consternation in many sectors of our society: Staunch separationists argue matters of religious or spiritual belief have no place at all in the public square. Others contend that if we believe what the Bible teaches, we can’t avoid bringing our faith into everything we do, including the realms of politics and governance. And there are many whose views are somewhere in between.

 

Even within the Church, many hold the view that as followers of Christ, we should have no other allegiance than to the kingdom of God. Verses like Ephesians 2:19 state, “you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God’s household” (Ephesians 2:19). Patriotism, some would contend, is in conflict with the Christian faith.

 

However, an honest look at our nation’s history reveals religion – or matters of faith – as one of the primary motivations for the exploration of the “New World,” subsequent parting from Great Britain, and the founding of the United States. Many of the principles that undergirded the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights are rooted in biblical teachings and practices.

 

For sincere followers of Jesus Christ, therefore, there’s a necessary tension. In many churches, traditional hymns have been usurped by contemporary praise music. However, I recall growing up in church hearing several hymns that reflected the conviction that we are truly in the world, if not of the world, as Jesus Christ prayed for His followers in John 17:11-18. Here are a few examples: 

The Kate Smith classic, “God Bless America.” Its lyrics included, “God bless America, land that I love. Stand beside her and guide her, through the night with the light from above…. God bless America, my home sweet home.”

Then there’s “This Is My Father’s World,” which closes with the words, “This is my Father’s world: O let me ne’er forget that though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the Ruler yet….”

In the ‘olden days,’ when mention of God in public schools wasn’t verboten, I recall singing, “My Country ‘Tis of Thee.” It included the stirring words, “Our Father God to Thee, Author of liberty, to Thee I sing. My country ‘tis of Thee, sweet land of liberty. For all eternity let freedom ring….”

 

Each of these shared the perspective that just as we thank the Lord for meeting our daily needs, jobs, families and many other things, we also can express our gratitude for the nation in which we live. 

 

Yes, we also have old songs like the Jim Reeves classic, “This World Is Not My Home.” If you’re not familiar with it, its lyrics include, “This world is not my home, I'm just a-passing through. My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue. The angels beckon me from heaven's open door, and I can't feel at home in this world anymore.”

 

I’ve shared that sentiment many times, as did the apostle Paul who wrote, “We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5:8). And yet we’re still here. God’s not finished with us yet in this life, and He’s providentially placed us in the star-spangled nation with all of its warts and flaws.

 

So as we prepare to observe another Independence Day, I think it’s quite appropriate to proudly acknowledge the spiritual moorings that were crucial in determining the values and principles the Founding Fathers embraced for our nation’s beginnings.

 

Psalm 33:12-13 declares, “Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord….” In many ways, it’s difficult to say that ours is ‘a nation whose God is the Lord.’ However, in 2 Chronicles 7:14 we have the assurance from God: 

“If My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.”

 

The Scriptures describe followers of Christ as “aliens and strangers on earth” (Hebrews 11;13, 1 Peter 2:11), and in light of eternity our sojourn here on planet Earth is a brief one indeed. But during our time here it’s important to remember we’re to serve as “Christ’s ambassadors” (2 Corinthians 5:20) who not only profess the good news of the Gospel but also strive to live it out.

It would be wonderful if this Fourth of July, along with celebrating our nation’s independence, we could also mark it with a day of genuine repentance, humbly asking that God would bless America – as a nation whose God is the Lord. If only….