Why Are Our Words No Longer Our Bond?

Something terrible has happened in our society. While it’s hard to pinpoint exactly when it began, there apparently was a moment when the masses decided one time-honored human virtue was no longer needed. I’m referring to…Integrity.

 

It’s not just in the world of politics, where elected officials and candidates routinely say what they think their audiences want to hear, then proceed to do whatever they planned to do anyway, regardless of what they’ve promised. No, there’s been a drastic decline of integrity virtually everywhere in society.

 

There was once the day when if someone said, “My word is my bond,” they actually meant it. When someone made a commitment, we could trust them to live up to it. Deals were struck and solidified with handshakes. Contracts were drawn up and signed, but firm handshakes alone constituted a binding agreement.

 

That was then. This is now, however. We see it in marriages. The traditional vows that included the phrase, “till death do us part,” apparently have been rewritten to “till divorce do us part.” In fact, many weddings have discarded time-honored vows altogether in favor of warmer, fuzzier, but less dogmatic terms of endearment. 

 

In the employment world, people now change jobs almost as often as they change clothes. The notion of spending an entire career with a single company and receiving a gold watch upon retirement has gone the way of the dodo and dinosaurs. Causes are complex. Companies increasingly demonstrated low commitment to their employees, and in response workers decided a day’s notice before leaving was excessive, much less two weeks or more. And maybe the cost of gold watches got too high.

 

We’re seeing this issue with integrity – or the lack of same – reflected perfectly in what’s become known ominously as “The Transfer Portal.” Used to be most athletes made commitments to a college or university and remained there for 3-4 years. Some athletes did transfer, but decisions weren’t taken lightly or made in haste. 

 

Now athletes vow allegiance to Alma Mater and then just a few weeks later, decide Alma Pater looks or smells a little better. Something like that. There are even athletes who play for three or four different schools during their careers. ‘I love you – until I don’t love you anymore.’ Of course, college coaches are notorious for making bold promises to recruits and then, after the ink on letters of intent has dried, they also leave for presumably greener pastures.

 

Problems with integrity are hardly new or the product of the 21^st century. An episode in my own history illustrates this. I don’t remember how old I was, maybe 10. I’d been visiting my grandfather in another city and had befriended a little boy who lived nearby. One day he invited me to his birthday party, and I eagerly agreed to come. 

 

Then a better offer came along. My birthday was approaching too, and a friend of my grandfather said she would take me to a bookstore in town and buy me a book as a gift. Bookaholic that I was even then, it seemed an offer I couldn’t refuse. It didn’t take long to decide a book in the hand was worth more than a party hat and a piece of cake. So, without telling little Billy, I skipped his party and went book shopping.

 

My self-centered decision still haunts me from time to time. ‘Billy, if you’re reading this, sorry I didn’t attend your birthday party.’

 

This might seem like a minor infraction, a tiny lapse of integrity attributable to my adolescence. Perhaps, but we can’t cultivate “a little bit of integrity” any more than a woman can be a little bit pregnant. You either are or you aren’t. Over the years since, I’ve strived to do better.

 

Integrity’s a prominent theme in the Scriptures. In fact, Numbers 23:19 declares, “God is not a man, that He should lie. Nor a son of man, that He should repent; has He said, and will He not do it? Or has He spoken, and will He not make it good?”

 

As believers in Christ, if we are to “follow in His steps” as 1 Peter 2:21 exhorts, we should put a very high premium on integrity. Jesus Himself instructed His followers, “But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’; anything beyond these is of evil origin” (Matthew 5:37).

 

A common excuse for not keeping our word is we made a decision hastily; after due consideration, we realized it was unwise. Proverbs 20:25 offers the solution: “It’s a trap for a man to dedicate something rashly and only later to consider his vows.” We’re to carefully weigh our options beforehand, then stick with whatever decisions we make.

 

If we fail to maintain high standards of integrity, our witness as believers and reputations as people of truth are at stake: “The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out” (Proverbs 10:9). “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity” (Proverbs 11:3).

 

Having high regard for integrity was an area of emphasis  for the Israelites: “When a man makes a vow to the Lord or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said” (Numbers 30:2). Centuries later, King Solomon reiterated, “When you make a vow to God, do not delay to fulfill it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow” (Ecclesiastes 5:4).

 

Living in a world of compromise and broken promises, a commitment to integrity may seem archaic, even impossible. Actually, it’s fairly simple: “But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath; but your yes is to be yes, and your no, no, so that you may not fall under judgment” (James 5:12). Just as even a small light can dispel darkness, we can stand out by upholding integrity when no one else seems willing to do so.