The Indispensable Role and Importance of the Father

With all the holidays and celebrations observed in our nation, it’s fitting that Father’s Day is among them. Fathers, obviously, are an indispensable part of the process of producing a child. Sadly, it’s increasingly true that fathers aren’t always a part of the parenting process.

 

Leading up to the 1960s, approximately three-fourths of all families were intact with both a father and a mother present in the home. Today, that statistic has been turned almost upside down, with a majority of homes being led by single parents, and most commonly, that parent being a mom.

 

To paraphrase a popular song of the early ‘60s, “where have all the fathers gone?”

 

This question is complex, and like many societal issues, has no simple answer. It’s not my intention to suggest any solutions other than to affirm the importance of fathers, not only for individual families but also for the well-being of society as a whole.

 

This in no way diminishes the roles and importance of mothers. As I noted in a recent post about Mother’s Day, they’re indispensable not only for giving birth but also for providing a secure, stable environment in which their children can grow and flourish. But for a variety of reasons, in recent decades we’ve seen the role of father downgraded in the eyes of many, even disparaged.

 

Blessed with the privilege of being a father myself and having grown up in a home where my own father was constant in character and integrity, I believe fathers fit into the multi-faceted category of “unsung heroes.” Fathers who not only goes to work to provide for their family’s material needs but also attend their kids’ ballgames, school programs and other activities have an immeasurable impact.

 

Over the years I’ve met and interviewed hundreds of men, highly successful, well-educated and fitting the description of “man’s man” who, at the mention of their fathers, struggled to avoid turning into a blubbering mess. This has been the case both for men who loved and admired their fathers, as well as those who experienced less than healthy relationships with their fathers. In designing the family, God’s intent for fathers and mothers was for them to fill equally important, but distinct roles.

 

In what is widely known as the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus opened with “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be Your name” (Matthew 6:9). His choice of words was not by accident. The fifth commandment – the first that is not specifically concerning God and the Sabbath – instructed the Israelites, “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you” (Exodus 20:12).

 

In the New Testament, the apostle Paul concurs. He writes, “Honor your father and mother…the first commandment with a promise that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth” (Ephesians 6:2-3).

 

We could invest much time studying and discussing the theology of fatherhood and the importance God gives it, but a serious look at the Scriptures clearly shows the role of father is not secondary; fathers aren’t disposable, like excess baggage.

 

The Bible doesn’t stop with its command for children to honor their parents. It also explains how fathers are to relate to their offspring. For instance, Ephesians 6:2 states, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring their up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Other translations challenge fathers, “do not provoke your children to anger [or wrath]” but instead to provide them with “discipline and admonition of the Lord.”

 

This echoes teachings from the Old Testament book of Deuteronomy, For instance, Deuteronomy 4:9 admonishes, “Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them.”

 

Speaking of the commandments and other laws God had given, Deuteronomy 6:7 admonishes, “Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Deuteronomy 11:19 says essentially the same.

 

These are telling us, among other things, that fathers and mothers both have the responsibility for teaching their children about God and that they are to serve as consistent, faithful followers of the Lord themselves. Setting a holy example for their children to emulate.

 

In our age when father-absence too often seems the rule rather than the exception, tragic ramifications have resulted. It’s evident this is not as God intended. Perhaps Father’s Day would be a good time to revisit the significance of fatherhood amid the ongoing discussion and debate about society’s ills.