It was about Jenny Cavalleri (played by Ali MacGraw), a working-class student of classical music, and Oliver Barrett IV (played by Ryan O’Neal), the heir of an upper-class family – as the Roman numeral at the end of his name implied. Despite their differences, the two fell in love and married against the wishes of Oliver’s father.
For a while it seemed the couple would overcome their obstacles to live happily ever after, but then Jenny was diagnosed with an incurable blood disease. As Oliver struggled to cope with the hopeless situation, his wife uttered the words that became a catch phrase for the era: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
It sounded clever at the time, but experience and wisdom have taught me that just the opposite is true. Love at times does require a willingness to say you’re sorry. In a marriage, a sincere apology or asking for forgiveness is the fastest way to begin healing hurts when one or the other partner is wronged, intended or not.
A parent will often insist that a child say “I’m sorry” for words or actions of disobedience, but the parent should also be willing to admit when he or she has spoken or acted wrongly toward the child.
In the working world, expressions of contrition can likewise mend damage caused by arguments and conflict. In a competitive environment, colleagues can quickly become at odds. A timely, genuine “I’m sorry” can restore much-needed cooperation and synergy.
We find the ultimate example in our relationship with God. We know that when Jesus Christ died on the cross, He suffered the penalty for our sins. In Jesus’ last words He declared, “It is finished” (John 19:30), His word in the Greek was tetelestai, which means “paid in full.” However, His offer of total forgiveness – what theologians called “justification” – demands that we say those words that are often so hard to utter, “I’m sorry.”
More accurately, it requires repentance, a conscious decision to turn from going in the wrong direction and embarking on a journey of following the Lord instead. Declaring the beginning of His public ministry, Jesus said, “The time has come. The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the Good News” (Mark 1:15). The implication is clear: If we don’t repent, do we truly believe that, as Romans 3:23 asserts, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God”?
After Jesus’ resurrection, He told His disciples, “This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations…” (Luke 24:46-47).
Early on we find the disciples carrying out this mission. Speaking to astonished onlookers after a crippled beggar has received healing, the apostle Peter admonished them, “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord” (Acts 3:19).
As we strive to maintain and strengthen our relationship with the Lord, however, repentance isn’t a one-off event. Just as a healthy marriage is marked by times of apology and requests for forgiveness, our sins – even though paid for once and for all – must be acknowledged. Failure to do so disrupts communication and a harmonious relationship with God.
This is why we’re instructed in 1 John 1:9, “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” To love God is to desire to please Him, to honor Him and obey Him. As we learn in a verse later in the same book, “This is love for God: to obey His commands. And His commands are not burdensome” (1 John 5:3).
To enjoy a healthy marriage, a nurturing relationship with our children, and a growing relationship with God, love means sometimes having to say you’re sorry.
No comments:
Post a Comment